Some words to describe what I was feeling on October 12, 2014 before, during and after the Half Marathon:
- Ready
- Exhilarated
- Confident
- Competitive
- Stressed
- Anxiety
- Pain
- Agony
- Guilt
- Failure
- Destroyed
- Disappointment
- Ego Driven
- Determined
- Success
- Pride
- Relieved
My first official Half Marathon will be one I will always remember, but would sooner forget. I trained hard for the Valley Harvest. My mentor, Jeff Nearing, worked hard preparing a training plan and keeping me on track and motivated through Summer 2014. Running mates, and work colleagues, Aaron Legge and Peter Clarke kept the competitive streak in play as we chirped each other's training routines (in jest, of course).
There were ups and downs through the training. I was taught to respect the Half Marathon distance in a training run gone bad on August 23. After hitting the wall, I sustained some blisters on my feet that would later come back to haunt me. A tempo run on September 20 would further aggravate the blisters and would be my last run before the big day on October 12. I spent the next three weeks getting everything healed awaiting the start of my first Half - just 21.1 km to go!
Being a first experience, and still very new to running, I had nervous (but good) tension as I stood on Acadia University's athletics track with the hundreds of other half marathoners. It was a beautiful day in Wolfville, NS and I was ready.
That was until about 3K into the race when I felt some discomfort in my running shoes. I quickly realized the areas which had sustained the blisters over the last few months had completely rubbed raw.
Realizing there was still 18K left to go, anxiety started to set in and soon the real pain began. Around 10K into the race, it was a little overbearing and my pace slowed to around 6:30 (mins/km). I was entering some tough parts of the course with long down slopes and climbs.
For the first time in my life, I actually contemplated throwing in the towel. In some of the transition areas, police cars were aiding racers to keep on course. At one point I thought about sitting in one of the cars and requesting a ride back to the start.
But the spectators along the route keep you motivated. Constantly having someone saying, "C'mon, you can do this. Just a few more kilometers and it's over!" really works. I needed every motivation that day.
A lot goes through your head in difficult times like this. I was thinking about the training and all of the hard work that had gone down the tube. I thought about how I would disappoint Jeff and the other guys by not finishing. I actually felt guilty. And that too kept my feet moving, as slowly as they were at that point.
I originally had a goal to finish the Half Marathon in less than two hours - a goal that was modified after initial training. I knew that was no longer in the cards as my pace slowed even more.
And then came a moment between kilometres 17 & 18!
I needed a drink and actually paused for a second at a water stop at the bottom of the hill before heading back to the Main Street of Wolfville for the home stretch. At that moment my right foot felt like it was welded to the pavement. I could not physically move it forward. It was scary actually.
It took more than a little 'self talk' to get one foot in front of the other, but I did it. I walked the next km to get some composure, but this dead slow pace hurt my feet even more so I started to jog, picking up the pace a little. And looking at my watch I realized that at 8:00 min/km, I'd be another nearly half hour before I finished.
The crowds along Main Street were larger and out of pure pride and ego I fought through the pain to keep moving. When I saw the Acadia track ahead that gave another boost. It was at that moment that the 2:15:00 pace bunny passed by. I attempted to pick it up a bit to finish with that group, but to no avail.
In the end I completed the race, officially, at 2:17:41.
It was a disappointment to me. I beat myself up about it for quite some time. My friends and colleagues reinforced the message that at least I finished. I originally did not see it that way.
When I finally got back to Halifax and removed my running shoes the damage was finally unveiled. I'll spare you the details, but trust me, my feet were a mess. From bandages, medicated creams and salt bath treatments, it took a number of weeks before I could walk properly again.
I have had the last 79 days to reflect. And I've come to the conclusion that I did indeed finish the Valley Harvest Half Marathon, in spite of the great physical pain.
The simple conclusion is that sometimes finishing is good enough. And I accept that now.
I have not run since this race, but I am ready to get back on the horse.
A lot has changed since Valley Harvest.
On November 3, my beautiful wife, Charlene, and I moved to Toronto as I have taken a new role with Yellow Pages. We've downsized to condo living in the big city and are exploring all the new offerings.
New city. New career. New shoes. New socks. New outlook. And new attitude.
In 2015 I will run another Half Marathon and I will get to the timing goals originally set. It may be ego talking, but it is something I need to do.
And here's the proof.
In just 124 days, on May 3, 2015, I will run another 21.1K (Half) in the Goodlife FITNESS Toronto Marathon. I look forward to the challenge.
Have a Happy New Year and stay tuned for the 2015 resolutions. And thanks for reading in 2014. I appreciate all the support and encouragement.
In the words of Neil Young, "Long may you run". Listen to the words. A lot of meaning in there. Until next time!
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